A Fcking 2021 Calendar Get Your Sht Together This Year Includes Stickers Funny Monthly Calendar White Elephant Gag Gift For Adults

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Homeland

Homeland Pdf/ePub eBook Author: ,
Editor: Tor Teen
ISBN: 1466805870
FileSize: 888kb
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Homeland by , Summary

In Cory Doctorow's wildly successful Little Brother, young Marcus Yallow was arbitrarily detained and brutalized by the government in the wake of a terrorist attack on San Francisco—an experience that led him to become a leader of the whole movement of technologically clued-in teenagers, fighting back against the tyrannical security state. A few years later, California's economy collapses, but Marcus's hacktivist past lands him a job as webmaster for a crusading politician who promises reform. Soon his former nemesis Masha emerges from the political underground to gift him with a thumbdrive containing a Wikileaks-style cable-dump of hard evidence of corporate and governmental perfidy. It's incendiary stuff—and if Masha goes missing, Marcus is supposed to release it to the world. Then Marcus sees Masha being kidnapped by the same government agents who detained and tortured Marcus years earlier. Marcus can leak the archive Masha gave him—but he can't admit to being the leaker, because that will cost his employer the election. He's surrounded by friends who remember what he did a few years ago and regard him as a hacker hero. He can't even attend a demonstration without being dragged onstage and handed a mike. He's not at all sure that just dumping the archive onto the Internet, before he's gone through its millions of words, is the right thing to do. Meanwhile, people are beginning to shadow him, people who look like they're used to inflicting pain until they get the answers they want. Fast-moving, passionate, and as current as next week, Homeland is every bit the equal of Little Brother—a paean to activism, to courage, to the drive to make the world a better place. At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Jen Mann
Editor: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0804176299
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Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann Summary

For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: • You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze • Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? • Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

Get Your Sh*t Together

Get Your Sh*t Together Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Sarah Knight
Editor: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316505064
FileSize: 1997kb
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Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight Summary

The New York Times bestseller from the author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck and You Do You. The no-f*cks-given, no-holds-barred guide to living your best life. Ever find yourself stuck at the office-or even just glued to the couch -- when you really want to get out (for once), get to the gym (at last), and get started on that "someday" project you're always putting off? It's time to get your sh*t together. In The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck, "anti-guru" Sarah Knight introduced readers to the joys of mental decluttering . This book takes you one step further -- organizing the f*cks you want and need to give, and cutting through the bullsh*t cycle of self-sabotage to get happy and stay that way. You'll discover: The Power of Negative Thinking Three simple tools for getting your sh*t together How to spend less and save more Ways to manage anxiety, avoid avoidance, and conquer your fear of failure And tons of other awesome sh*t! Praise for Sarah Knight: "Genius." -- Cosmopolitan "Self-help to swear by." -- The Boston Globe "Hilarious... truly practical." -- Booklist

Cringeworthy

Cringeworthy Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Melissa Dahl
Editor: Penguin
ISBN: 0735211647
FileSize: 1715kb
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Cringeworthy by Melissa Dahl Summary

New York magazine's "Science of Us" editor explains the compelling psychology of awkwardness, and asks: what if the moments that make us feel most awkward are actually valuable? Have you ever said goodbye to someone, only to discover that you're both walking in the same direction? Or had your next thought fly out of your brain in the middle of a presentation? Or accidentally liked an old photo on someone's Instagram or Facebook, thus revealing yourself to be a creepy social media stalker? Melissa Dahl, editor of New York magazine's "Science of Us" website, has. After a lifetime of cringing, she became intrigued by awkwardness: a universal but underappreciated emotion. In this witty and compassionate book, Dahl explores the oddest, cringiest corners of our world. She chats with strangers on the busy New York City subway, goes on awkward friend dates using a "Tinder-for-friendship" app, takes improv comedy lessons, and even reads aloud from her (highly embarrassing!) middle school diary to a crowd of strangers. After all of that, she realizes: Awkward moments are opportunities to test yourself. When everyone else is pretending to have it under control, you can be a little braver and grow a little bigger--while remaining true to your awkward self. And along the way, you might find that awkward moments unite us in our mutual human ridiculousness.

Dog Shaming

Dog Shaming Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Pascale Lemire
Editor: Crown
ISBN: 0385349351
FileSize: 1723kb
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Dog Shaming by Pascale Lemire Summary

Based on the runaway web phenomenon (dogshamingdotcom), Dog Shaming features the most hilarious, most shameful, and never-before-seen doggie misdeeds. Our dogs are our best friends. They are always happy to see us. They comfort us in our times of need. They also eat our shoes, stain our carpets, and embarrass us in front of our guests. Dog owners everywhere have found their outlet in Dog Shaming, where they can confess their dogs' biggest (and often grossest!) sins, which turn out to be recognizably universal—complete with snapshots of ridiculously cute but shamed pups who don't seem capable of humping humans, pooping on pillows, or snagging steak straight from a grill. So share in the shaming and laugh through your frustration as Dog Shaming reminds us that unconditional love goes both ways.

The Zombie Survival Guide

The Zombie Survival Guide Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Max Brooks
Editor: Del Rey
ISBN: 1400050804
FileSize: 1096kb
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The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks Summary

From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now. Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain. Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you? 3. Use your head: cut off theirs. 4. Blades don’t need reloading. 5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair. 6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike. 8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert! 9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

People I Want to Punch in the Throat Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Jen Mann
Editor: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345549988
FileSize: 974kb
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen Mann Summary

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge

The Onion Book of Known Knowledge Pdf/ePub eBook Author: The Onion
Editor: Little, Brown
ISBN: 031613323X
FileSize: 575kb
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge by The Onion Summary

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE is packed with valuable information-such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, THE ONION BOOK OF KNOWN KNOWLEDGE must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

The Art of Non-Conformity

The Art of Non-Conformity Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Chris Guillebeau
Editor: Penguin
ISBN: 1101443081
FileSize: 1342kb
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The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau Summary

If you've ever thought, "There must be more to life than this," The Art of Non-Conformity is for you. Based on Chris Guillebeau's popular online manifesto "A Brief Guide to World Domination," The Art of Non-Conformity defies common assumptions about life and work while arming you with the tools to live differently. You'll discover how to live on your own terms by exploring creative self-employment, radical goal-setting, contrarian travel, and embracing life as a constant adventure. Inspired and guided by Chris's own story and those of others who have pursued unconventional lives, you can devise your own plan for world domination-and make the world a better place at the same time.

Girl's Guide to Witchcraft (15th Anniversary Edition)

Girl's Guide to Witchcraft (15th Anniversary Edition) Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Mindy Klasky
Editor: Peabridge Press
ISBN: 1950184110
FileSize: 1275kb
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Girl's Guide to Witchcraft (15th Anniversary Edition) by Mindy Klasky Summary

The beloved romantic comedy classic from USA Today bestselling author Mindy Klasky, now in a 15th Anniversary Edition, including an all-new Author’s Note! Jane Madison has a problem. Or two. Or three. She has a desperate crush on her Imaginary Boyfriend, a man who doesn’t know she exists. Her doting grandmother insists she meet her long-absent mother. She’s working as a librarian, trapped in absurd costumes and serving up lattes in a last-ditch effort to keep her employer solvent. In lieu of a well-deserved raise, Jane is allowed to live in an ancient cottage on the library grounds. She soon discovers a hidden chamber filled with magical books that awaken her inner witch. Her first spell releases a smart-mouthed feline familiar. Her second makes her irresistible to men. Those witchy workings draw a compelling astral enforcer, David Montrose. Will magic—and David—solve Jane’s problems? Or only bring her more disasters? “[A]n irresistible tale of power and love, friendship and acceptance… Charming and insightful.” — Romantic Times If you like romantic comedy, romcom, chicklit, or humorous and funny stories about libraries, librarians, witches, witchcraft, magic, fantasy, supernatural or paranormal events, in the vein of The Kiss Quotient, The Hating Game, 99 Percent Mine, The Unhoneymooners, or Practical Magic, you will love this book! Magical Washington includes The Washington Witches Series, the Washington Vampires Series, the Washington Warders, and the Washington Medical: Vampire Ward Series: Girl's Guide to Witchcraft Sorcery and the Single Girl Magic and the Modern Girl Single Witch's Survival Guide Joy of Witchcraft Capitol Magic "Dreaming of a Witch Christmas" "Nice Witches Don't Swear" Fright Court Law and Murder High Stakes Trial “Stake Me Out to the Ball Game” The Library, the Witch, and the Warder The Witch Doctor Is In Fae's Anatomy The Lady Doctor is a Vamp 030720mkm

Texts from Mittens

Texts from Mittens Pdf/ePub eBook Author: Angie Bailey
Editor: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1524856606
FileSize: 1520kb
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Texts from Mittens by Angie Bailey Summary

Follow along with Mittens as he enjoys hilarious, snark-filled text volleys with his cast of quirky friends and family: Earl (the “filthy hound”), Stumpy (the best friend), Drunky Patty (the usually tipsy next-door neighbor), Grandma (giver of treats), and Fiona (Mitty’s girlfriend). Based on Angie Bailey’s virally popular blog, Texts from Mittens: The Friends and Family Edition is feline humor at its finest.